lillianalucinda.com

Reflections

New- not existing before; made, introduced, or discovered recently or now for the first time.

A fresh year, a new beginning, a new you.

Looking back on this past year brings up feelings of happiness but also a sense of sadness for those that have come and gone. I’m not very good at saying goodbye.

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I am also not one to write down a list of resolutions. Instead, I journal about habits, experiences, and a create a generalized list of goals that I’d like to bring into for the new year. Hmm.. that sort of sounds like a resolution? Already I have been blessed with a clean plate. I’m single with one semester left of college and the whole world in front of me.

It’s almost overwhelming to think about all of the change that is about to happen. A new home, a new environment, and new relationships are all waiting for me in 2018. So my current focus right now is to take it day by day. I want to be present at these moments because life is happening so fast.

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The end of 2017 brought heartbreak like I’ve never experienced. With my relationship ending and the news of my mom’s cancer returning, I was finding it very hard to be happy. The pain was literally like a rock pressing down on my chest creating physical discomfort. I had an identity crisis. Just when I thought I was on top of the world and the happiest I’ve ever been, these walls crumbled around me exposing my vulnerabilities and making me face some very hard truths. I couldn’t post on social media, or even bring myself to write a blog post. I felt like it was so much work to even try to pretend that my life was going good and I don’t want to portray a lie. Someone said to me fake it until you make it, so I was driving around with a smile on my face just looking for someone to acknowledge me. The local bus drove up next to me and an elderly man finally returned that smile. Thank you to that stranger who made that moment a little better.

My dreams were hard to see and the passion I felt previously was crushed under the weight of my sorrow. I can only hope and pray that I will come out of this stronger and wiser than ever before.

T O D A Y

As of today, I am beginning to feel like myself again. A little harder than before, a little more cautious. I’m going to have to learn how to trust again but I am excited about this year filled with promise. I get to spend a lot more time with discovering who I am as an individual, which means more time growing and becoming a better person. As my best friend would say “bird by bird”.

Suffering is a necessary evil. Pain teaches many important lessons. It is okay to not be happy 100% of the time and to be honest, that’s not even my goal. I think it’s more important to be content. Content with who you are, content with the choices you make, and the people you allow into your life. If you are interested in content that focuses on personal growth than I hope you stay with me in 2018 as I work to become the best version of my self.

Call To Action

I will be writing and sharing all of the things I’m doing each day to push myself out of this comfort zone and into a newly improved existence. Let’s connect and work together. Leave a comment to chat or follow my social handles.  Happy New Year to you! Thanks for reading, until next time!

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