This is a pretty big topic but it touches each and every one of us several times throughout our day. Social media enables us to compare our lives to others. We lose ourselves in our feeds and we find ourselves opening these apps without even thinking about them. I noticed this just earlier today. I went online to look up a book and the next thing I knew I was scrolling through my Instagram feed…
Guess what I’m doing when I scroll?
I’m judging you and everyone else. I have fallen into a trap of comparing my life against those of my peers, family, and even strangers. In the past, this comparing was so bad that at one point in my life I took myself off all social media because I was sad about the state of my life compared to my friends. That was during a time when I didn’t understand what was happening, a time when I wasn’t who I wanted to be.
So is judgment such a bad thing? Can’t it be helpful in some situations?
I think it’s important to start with the difference between judgment and discernment. What I was doing on my social was judging. Discerning is is the ability to judge well by saying “I discern that this is not right for me, but I’m not going to judge it.”
Listen, we are creating a sense of separation when we judge everybody else against ourselves. Now the fear of being judged, that is debilitating. We all have that one experience that happened in our youth that hurt us. Whatever happened whether it was being picked on or told you were stupid. Small or big those experiences are apart of the tapestry that shapes our life. We tend to hide these past hurts deep down inside until they get triggered as an adult. We judge others to mask what we are hiding. Does that make sense?
I was listening to Bulletproof radio yesterday which inspired this post. The following quotes are all from Gabby Bernstein, a five-time best selling author, speaker & spirit junkie.
people who are highperformers,
they’re really looking to just get to a place where they can use their
energy as their greatest asset, as their greatest resource.
If you are reading this chances are you want to feel better and be a better person. There are two very important steps before this can happen.
Witness your judgment without judgment. You can’t change unless your willing and aware to realize that something needs to change to put you where you want to be. Constantly judging others is not only hurting others but it’s holding you back from reaching and sharing your gift with the world.
How are you reacting to what is happening in your life because you’ve noticed yourself judging something or someone because you have been triggered? Step two is about looking honestly into your past and identifying those moments when you felt unsafe or attacked. After you painfully remember this, forgive it. The big ol’ F-word. Forgive it, forgive that person, and forgive yourself. If you don’t you will never move on from this and you will continue to be triggered.
Don’t you want to perform your best every day?
When we judge, we
deplete our energy, we weaken our immune system, we create blocks between
our relationships and our connections. So ultimately, we’re blocking our power
to attract what we want into our life and blocking our power to perform at our
How is judgment serving you?
When you can heal the past hurt behind the judgment you will stop attracting the same situations because you won’t be a match for it. There is a feeling that you bring to the world and whatever that feeling is right now is what you will receive back. That may sound mystical but it is true, I have felt and witnessed this several times in my life. Especially now that I’m more aware of my surroundings and how I can have an effect on my environment.
I have work to do with this. I am not at a point in my life where I am completely without judgment but I am going to give this a try. As I was going through my day today I noticed my judgments and I felt the reasons why. I accepted it and changed my thoughts about it. These little disruptions of thought by recognizing them and substituting them with proactive thoughts sets you apart. They become a catalyst for growth and after time your whole mindset will be stronger and healthier because of it.
Succesful people do loads of personal development. I am lucky that this type of work intrigues me. What I hope for you is that when you are finished reading this article, that you become a little more aware of when your judgments are holding you back from doing something.
My own personal setbacks stem from my youth.
This blog was a test for me. I was once told that I was “a dumb blonde”, so I used to play the part of a dumb girl. This did not serve me. So when I wanted to write a blog about personal development I was paralyzed with fear of who would read it and what they would say. Voices over and over in my head imaginary judgments. But I published post after post anyway. Even though it kept me up at night I finally got to the mindset where it didn’t matter. I was writing these for me and if they could help someone else then that’s all I could ever hope for. So if you are afraid of being judged to do something, I say that’s all the more reason to do it anyway. I heard Gabby say in this podcast that being vulnerable is like a muscle, the more you do it the easier it gets.
Then you can make a decision with kindness even if it’s a hard decision versus making it with fear, and anxiety, or hatred, or whatever else it is.
We need discernment the same way we need our fight or flight mechanism in our brain that tells us not to run out in front of a car. Once you heal you will be better equipped to handle people and situations that aren’t in your favor by handling them from a place of stability rather than judgment being triggered by that situation and reacting.
My prayer for you, is that you open your self up to change, forgiveness, and to live with fewer judgments. Be vulnerable. Follow your passions even if they take you away from where you are most comfortable. Don’t stop living your best life because there is something out there calling to you, it’s bigger than you and it needs you.
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Source of Inspiration:
This is the link to the podcast that I listened to. It is full of wonderful insights. Bulletproof radio teaches me something new every single time I listen to it and I highly highly recommend adding this content to your weekly list because it is the absolute best.